A Constant State of Impermanence
Just as we all were feeling like life was starting to get back to normal in a world that is looking to move beyond the last two years, war literally breaks out. In a sense, it feels and is a world away, but in another, it strangely feels right on our doorstep and unsettling, to say the least.
So much of the last few years, and now this conflict has been a stark reminder about the impermanence of order, of our every day, and really life in general. Accepting the fact of impermanence as a way of being instead of something that happens from time to time can actually allow us the freedom to let go of the expectations we have about what we think should be (peace, calm, order) and attune to the presence of what life really is (reality, mess, chaos).
Checking our cosmic agency at the door is hard. As humans, we are wired to seek out order and meaning, even when there is none. Letting go of the outcomes we seek and instead consistently working to build presence, within ourselves and around the people and things that matter most to us, is what really creates the calm we innately seek. At times life can feel overwhelming, but this feeling can also become an opportunity to practice the power of presence in our everyday lives. The practice of being present allows us to get out of our heads and off the thought hamster wheel and turn to the things that truly matter. Our families and children, nature, and the habits that serve our wellbeing.
The sooner we accept the messiness and chaos of life, the sooner we can get around to really living.
Cultivating Calm
Cultivating calm, within ourselves, can be a powerful place to begin our personal journey. When we can approach life and what it throws at us from this place, instead of simply reacting, we are able to show up in what can be profound ways for the people and things that matter most to us. Working towards this state is no easy feat, however. We must be diligent in holding space for ourselves as the chaos whirls around us.
To create this feeling, or what is really a state of being, we can put to use many of the practices I've previously spoken about (all of which are FREE).
Limit Caffeine: Don't @ me. I love caffeine and my morning coffee. I'm also a mom and definitely feel like I need a pick me up to get going in the morning. However, there is a tipping point. When we overindulge in caffeine it raises cortisol (our stress hormone) and if you're already feeling stressed you'll be getting a double dose. This in turn can affect your sleep (among other things) and create a vicious stress cycle that's hard to break.
Move Your Body: Even if it's just for 5 minutes moving your body reduces both adrenaline and cortisol while raising mood-boosting endorphins. Stress can also produce a cascade of physical symptoms such as muscle tension and neck and back pain. Using movement as medicine can help to naturally alleviate many of the mental and physical symptoms of stress.
Turn-Off Media: Yes, it is important to be informed about what is going on in our communities and the world, but only up to a certain point. Be intentional about what you let into your mental space. Put down your phone, turn off the tv, and tune in to what matters.
Use Breathwork (or Meditate): closing your eyes and focusing on the breath can have powerful effects by calming the nervous system. An easy technique is box breathing. Breath in (through your nose) for a count of 5, hold for 5, release your breath (through your nose) in 5, and hold for 5. Repeat this cycle for 5 minutes and notice the feeling of calm that comes as you open your eyes.
If you're interested in a slightly more powerful practice, I've linked a meditation that dives into the trials we are currently facing. Fast forward to minute 3. I never regret the time I spend on Kevin's meditations and I know you won't either.
I apologize for being repetitive but I know from experience that when we put our minds toward implementing these habits and practices daily they can have a profound impact on mental and physical wellbeing.
Maintaining Presence
When we've worked on the practices above to cultivate a feeling of calm within, we can approach not just our daily tasks but more trying situations from a rooted place. Holding space, not only for ourselves and the way we are feeling but also for others.
Maintaining presence asks us to check our expectations at the door and simply show up as who we are for what is. Seeking magic in the small, quiet moments. Finding purpose in the repetitive daily tasks. Showing up not just in good times but also when they get hard. Bearing witness not just to the joy of others but also to their pain.
The ability to maintain presence is the ability to live life fully. When we are constantly seeking or worried about what the future holds or we are lost replaying past situations, we are denying ourselves the beauty of what is right in front of us. I myself am definitely guilty of wishing naptime would roll around faster and cursing the fact that I have to empty the dishwasher AGAIN... among many other things. However, as we notice ourselves entering this place of mental escape, pause and take a breath. Building awareness around these moments is key to coming back and allowing ourselves to be and appreciate right where we are.
Taking Action
Taking action gives us a sense of purpose and agency. When we are able to take action from a place of calm and present awareness we are putting our best foot forward for the causes, people, and situations that require more of our mental and physical energy.
What are the causes that are calling to you? Who are the people you want to show up for? What situations are currently asking more of you? How can you take action in service of these responses?
To take action, in our current climate, is to be able to stand firmly behind your choices and what they mean regardless of what others think. When we feel empowered and work to empower others in ways that are meaningful our actions and their outcomes extend far beyond our reach.
What's important to me may not be important to you and vice versa. However, when we can acknowledge that we all come to the table with different perspectives we can exponentially grow our awareness and give back in ways we wouldn't have been able to otherwise.
FOR THOSE CURRENTLY IN NEED
I KNOW MANY OF YOU HAVE PROBABLY GIVEN TO CAUSES IN UKRAINE OVER THE LAST SEVERAL WEEKS. HOWEVER, IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO YET OR ARE LOOKING FOR ADDITIONAL OUTLETS TO GIVE HERE IS YOUR CHANCE!
Work Central Kitchen has done remarkable work in different disaster zones across the world. They are currently working to provide meals at 8 different border crossings for Ukrainian refugees as they flee the country.
Save The Children is focused on aiding children and families with immediate support that includes food, water, and psychological support.
Bethenny Frankel can be a somewhat polarizing figure but her charity endeavor, B-Strong, is doing incredible work providing refugees not only with basic supplies but also with resettlement resources. They are aiming to scale out of Poland and add resources in Hungary and Romania.
The Red Cross is the standby organization that many turn to in times of need. They are currently assisting on the front lines of the war by aiding evacuations and providing shelter, food, and necessities.