Be Kind… To Yourself
“Staying positive doesn’t mean you have to always be happy. It means that even on hard days, you make the choice to expand rather than contract.”
I recently heard the stat that a person, on average, has 50,000 self-talk thoughts per day. Of those 50,000 thoughts, 40,000 are negative. An astounding 80%! Then I thought... why on earth do we talk to ourselves this way?
Having negative thoughts actually has negative effects on the body. Negativity raises cortisol, sending the body into fight-or-flight mode, raises blood pressure, slows digestion, and creates feelings of anxiety. While, of course, some doubt and general negativity are normal facts of life, it's when we allow these thought patterns to repeatedly override our sense of self and take us out of the present moment that they become detrimental.
So, what can we do? Instead of letting our days get clouded in thoughts of negativity, it's important to set the right tone first thing. When you look in the mirror each morning do you look at your reflection and internally say "ouch"? Do you worry that there isn't enough time to accomplish all of the day's tasks at hand? Are you annoyed with your kids for waking you up?
Entering from a place of gratitude calms the nervous system and releases dopamine and serotonin, the good mood chemicals. What if instead of "ouch" we said, "thank you, body"? Instead of worrying about all we have to do we simply say, "I will put my best foot forward today". Instead of internally (or externally 😬) seething at our kids simply say, "this is frustrating, but I'm grateful for my family".
If you feel like you're having trouble flipping the script, using an action as a trigger might be beneficial. Snap your fingers, a rubber band on your wrist, or take a deep breath to redirect when you feel these thoughts creeping in. You may begin to notice certain patterns arise.
Whether it's how we feel about our bodies, our confidence in our work, our parenting skills, friendships, etc. what would happen if we chose a new direction? How would the course of our mornings change? Our days, our weeks, our lives? What could we achieve for ourselves and others if we approached life and its many challenges from a positive frame of mind?
